Sep 5, 2017

Maybe It's Just Medical

There is a few things that I wanted to blog about, mainly about leaving my second posting Orthopaedics and another is about the daunting aspect of entering Medical posting. In between, there are things worth mentioning as well. But things happened during that time, and when it subsided many more things had pressed me to adjourn the writing.


And hence, a super-packed confusion hella of post today.


Thank you Orthopaedics for being nice to me. Not everything is nice in it, but overall better than my first posting. I feel disappointed towards my viva performance but after a while, knowing you passed out of pity and be graded more towards performance (and your lack of issues) as overall instead of knowledge is definitely better than not passing your viva and having to be extended for another two months. Even though you do feel shitty afterwards because it did not went as well as you hoped.


Entering Medical is a bit funny to me. People called us seniors because I'm the third poster already when in fact I feel as useless as a strata rock under the sun. It's not like I know any better. It's not like I can draw blood any faster. In fact, my venepuncture skills more or less is at where I came from - minuscule on average, lucky at best. There are tonnes more things I don't know. I don't even think I learnt much in my two previous postings.


So when junior housemen said things like, "Kau takpe, kau dah senior," "Ala, kau dah power, kau senior," I was like, "Tang mana aku powernya?" I'm still scared shitless when patients desat in the ward, I still don't know what to do when nurses came up to me to show that the patient's DXT is deranged, I still don't know what to do when patient's BP is dropping or sky-high. So far I'm not liking my latest week of working night shift here.




But I'm learning. That's all I have to do. I'm learning.


I have entered the third week in Medical now. The first week is the tagging week where I had to complete my taglog by simply listing up a number of procedures and asking MOs signature for each of the procedure. The second week I worked at night shift, where people who had already underwent Medical posting are green with envy looking at the number of houseman working at night - two, to be exact. I for one have no complaint about it. I certainly couldn't cope working alone at night at the moment, and the time when HO shortage to come is inevitable eventually. But for now, I take what I can.


I still couldn't adjust to the busy working condition in Medical. I wasted my post night sleeping due to fatigue. When I woke up, I still feel tired. Not to mention there's a tonne of things I want to read about but all the time I have left I either spent it sleeping or complaining about the need to sleep. Partly there's Orthopaedics to be blamed. The working condition in my previous posting was so chilled and relaxed it felt like a holiday compared to Medical here.


When I'm under a lot of stress and being overwhelmed with fatigue, that's when my health deteriorates. I do get sick easily and the frequency of me catching illness is so often I can predict when next I will fall ill and won't be able to get up to work like I normally do (for instance, today I don't feel so good). Anyway, when I do get sick, I still go to work - but I'll be covered with a face mask all day and my mind would get sluggish and I won't be responsive and cheerful. I'll be a walking zombie, ordering medication and checking more zombies in this place I called a hospital.




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